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About Deviant Member Fanny LortieFemale/Canada Recent Activity
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I want to kill my life
To save myself

I want to lose myself
So I can find my heart

I want to stop feeling my heart
To actually feel something

If I became blind
I could see what's real

If forgot all of my reality
I would know all about happiness

But If I was only happy
I would never smile
I wake up with a buzzing in my ears
With sticky eyes from all the tears
And the envy of throwing up
And the envy of giving up...

I look around and I see myself,
A broken heart on the shelf
This place is a mess, my mess
All of this, with me in distress

What is even my life? ...
I think I need my knife...
Or perhaps just my lighter
With death in between my fingers

Just for a brief moment
With reality being more distant
The illusion of feeling better
That it'll be alright sooner or later

But every single morning
Reality hits me, and I'm crying
Crying until my eyes are empty
What is wrong with me?


I wake up with a buzzing in my ears
With sticky eyes from all the tears
And the envy of throwing up
And the envy of giving up...

Maybe today will be the day
That I finally do it and lay
And never wake up... Ever.
This makes me both smile and shiver
This poem is inspired by me and my friend's twelfth photoshoot! I always post poems inspired by all of our photoshoots and make videos about them with behind the scenes on youtube, I'll be doing one (video)... eventually about this one! :)

You can go see that photoshoot here:…
All of the poems inspired of our photoshoots here:…
My youtube channel for the videos/behind the scenes is here:…
You can go check out my friend's deviantART here:
I'm exhaust!
But I say I'm just tired.
All of my hope is lost!
But I'm talking about my future.

I'm depressed.
But I say I'm having a bad day...
I think death.
But I say life...

I want to sleep forever,
Yet I wake up every morning.
I think I'm the weakest!
But I'm still standing.

I feel so lost and isolated,
But I say I have the best friends!
I promised I would never trust again,
But I don't want to be left alone.

I want to be unseen,
But I always stand out.
I hate the world,
But I want to be understood!

I want to be honest,
But I keep on lying.
I say I'm okay,
When really I'm dying.
I'm cold and lonely,
Please tell me
That I'll find light
And hold me tight.

I'm lost and scared
Pain is all I've made
Please save me
And keep me company

I just need some comfort,
Someone to bring me to the port,
Promise me you won't leave
I just want to believe
Save Me
Another poem I wassuppose to post on the weekend, but anyways.... I like this one, I made it rime... And sometimes I think everybody needs comfort.
This is my last call
One strident noise,
Piercing through the wall

I'm in distress.
This is my last scream,
Before the knife hits my flesh.

I let all of my pain
Escape through my lips,
Hopefully reaching one's brain

I feel like it's too late,
In this moment lay my last hope,
The one the world haven't ate.

But this spark is dying
And I can see the end...
My heart is already burning!

If I'm not heard soon,
I believe it'll end there...
One more suicidal fool!
Last Moment
I'm going to post on wensdays too now, I have a lot written down so... yeah. Anyways, I know this is not veyr happy, but I wish you merry Christmas! :)


lolnyny's Profile Picture
Fanny Lortie
Hi! I am a polyvalent artist, you can see in my galery I have artisan craft, photography and litterature, most are poetry or photography. I also really love music and I am a young teenager who just love the arts!

Ps: I also have a youtube channel (MadMaracasOnFire) where I upload all kinds of videos including the making and behind the scenes of the photoshoots I do with my friend, also I'm part of a band called Seeking Out Silence, links below.

My friend's DeviantART (we do photoshoot):
On Youtube:…
My Band:…
On Twitter:
On Tumblr:
As you may know me and my friend Valeska (grisouICSH) every once in a while make photoshoots together and we post it on her deviantART account (because she's the one who comes up with the idea, chose the outfits, etc.. I'm just taking pictures and posing) and I have a youtube channel (MadMaracasOnFire) where I make videos.

I've made two videos with all of our photoshoots (including only few of our photos) and behind the scenes of them (I filmed a little bit when we were making the photoshoots or meanwhile editing the pictures). When we make more photoshoots I'll make new videos too. 
So if you are interested you can go check out my channel, where I posted the videos about the photoshoots and where I am also planning on uploading videos of me reciting some of the poems I wrote here on DeviantART (if you have any suggestion I'll gladly take them).
Also if you want to see our photoshoots you can go check that out on Valeska DeviantART, I'm going to put links at the end of this journal entry.

My Youtube channel: 
Valeska's DeviantART (there is a folder for each photoshoot in her gallery): 
First video for the photoshoots: Photoshoots video #1 (with Valeska Bastien)
Second video for the photoshoots: Photoshoots video #2 with Valeska Bastien
  • Mood: Delighted
  • Listening to: Happy Little Pill by Troye Sivan
  • Watching: YOUTUBE (haha' I'm obssesd)

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Wetterlage Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2015
I thank you very much for your kind :+fav: ... but especially of course for your :+devwatch:, dear Fanny! :iconflowerthnxplz:  :hug:
And it will be a pleasure for me to watch you too! :nod:  :-)
lolnyny Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015
Thank you so much! You're so nice! :) :hug:
copper9lives Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:wave: Hello, and welcome to :iconpoetryparadise:!

We're happy to have you aboard! If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, please :note: the group and your friendly neighborhood admins will get back to you ASAP.

Currently, we're hosting a monthly contest — check it out!

lolnyny Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2014
Thank you! You're very nice! :)
copper9lives Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much! :heart:
Joe-Maccer Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014
Crank Dat -Supaman Dance- by Fugaz-Star:iconfaveplz:  Thanks, Fanny. :blowkiss:
lolnyny Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014
you're very welcome! ;D
Red--Vs--Blue Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the watch!:tighthug:
lolnyny Featured By Owner Edited Jul 23, 2014
You're welcome! :) Thanks for the watch you too!
faithnomorefan Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the llama :)
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